I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
