dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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