Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
