It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
