I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
