ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
