you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
