garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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