isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I need a beard to bite.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
