it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wish I only lived at night.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
