So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
