Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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