The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
