i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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