i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
