Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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