Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
