How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
