She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
