don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
