JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
