I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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