I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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