Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
