dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize