Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
