you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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