I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
