Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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