We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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