Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
