This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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