just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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