I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
