yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
