Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
