im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
