How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
