She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
