i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
