i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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