I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
