i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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