We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
