It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
