I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
