AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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