dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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