i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
