it's too hot outside to masturbate.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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