My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
