Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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