Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
