We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
