Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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