even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
