I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
