Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
