Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
