If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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