The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
